


The Loser

by LynxCore



Category: LEGO Monkie Kid
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, Trauma, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29514750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynxCore/pseuds/LynxCore
Summary: It hurts knowing someone loves him like that when he knows he doesn't deserve it. He isn't worthy of it, he never has been and never will be.Useless child, an absolutely useless child and an even more useless king.A useless king still plagued by painful, pitiful thoughts that should've been killed off long ago.His hair fluffs over his shoulders as he shuffled even more under the covers, sinking into the mattress.He wanted to disappear, but he knew the clarity he would receive from his disappearance was not a sort of clarity he deserved.
Relationships: Qi Xiaotian | MK/Red Son
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	The Loser

**Author's Note:**

> Heyooo,,,
> 
> Here's a lil angsty oneshot for ya
> 
> That's pretty much it, ive been feeling a lil crummy and entered a bit of a creative block.
> 
> Sooo here's this!! Enjoy!!
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes as I didnt beta read
> 
> The title is based off the song The Loser by Zach Farache

_Hollow._

That's the only way Red Son could describe it.

Truly, it was as if a black hole had formed in his chest and mind, eating away at his psyche and feeding him dangerous ideals, only for him to regurgitate and be fed them all over again.

_Worthless._

That's what he was. Good for nothing, couldn't do a single damn thing.

_Such a stain on the Demon Bull family name._

He married his enemy, he loved his enemy, he betrayed his family to be with him. He left his family for the good side, then became a king.

_He deserved to die, perhaps and he wanted to._

Red Son shuffles further underneath the covers, skin prickling with heat, distressed flames building at his finger tips.

The blankets were safe, the blankets were comfortable. The weight of the thoughts in his head didn't matter under the blankets, they simply sunk into the mattress.

_Maybe he should be dead, at least then he wouldn't have to know how little he mattered to people._

Or, perhaps, how much he _did_ matter.

MK, Xiaotian, his love and beloved, his king- would be crushed if Red Son got what he wanted and disappeared from their lives.

MK cared. MK loved him- for whatever reason.

Red Son still didn't exactly get it, didn't see why out of all the people in world MK could have, he chose him.

It hurts knowing someone loves him like that when he _knows_ he doesn't deserve it. He isn't worthy of it, he never has been and never will be.

Useless child, an absolutely useless child and an even more useless king.

A useless king still plagued by painful, pitiful thoughts that should've been killed off long ago.

His hair fluffs over his shoulders as he shuffled even more under the covers, sinking into the mattress.

He wanted to disappear, but he knew the clarity he would receive from his disappearance was not a sort of clarity he deserved.

Maybe this was his ultimate punishment, living and being surrounded by so many good people who loved him while he was painfully aware of the fact he didn't deserve it. Painfully _made_ aware he didn't deserve it.

He eloped with his best friend, his love, his beloved, the one person who calmed the rage that festered deep in his chest. And that person loved him despite his mistakes.

Mei loved him, too.

As well as Tang and Pigsy and Wukong-

All of them loved him.

It wasn't the same love as MK's, this kind of love was storge.

And that hurt just as much.

They felt storge over someone who wasn't even an object of attraction, they just. . . _loved_ him, and they hadn't even been related by blood.

No one was forced to love him, they just _did._

He didn't deserve it.

"Darling?"

Red Son shrinks under the sound of MK's voice calling him, not lifting his head to look at him or showing he heard him at all.

There's a dip in the bed from the weight of MK sitting down next to him.

"Are you alright, love?" He rests a careful hand on Red Son's shoulder, leaning over to try and get a glimpse of his face.

Red Son hides it in his arm.

MK stays quiet for a moment, shuffling to lean against the headboard of the bed. He gently moves a hand to Red Son's mane of hair, soothing his fingers through it.

"You can always talk to me, you know that, right?" His husband murmurs.

The demon moved then, shuffling over to rest his head in MK's lap, letting out a pent up breath as the other's hand ran through his hair.

He decides to allow himself this comfort of being held and tended to so gently.

Though, he knew he wasn't worthy of it.

MK let Red Son grow quiet instead of demanding a response, knowing prompting or prodding would only make it worse.

The demon has never taken verbal comfort very well, _especially_ when his emotions were heightened and he was still struggling to calm them down.

The boy was one of the only people to ever truly catch a glimpse of what happens in his head, and even he had only seen a fraction of it, so he was the only person who understood what he needed.

A hand rests on the nape of his neck, gently running a thumb back and forth there, soothing out the tension.

Red Son's hands clutch the blanket, angry at the deep weight settling on his shoulder blades that he couldn't get rid of no matter how hard he tried.

"I just feel so awful," he starts, a gentle murmur, "I don't know. ." He shakes his head against the pillow..

The Monkie Kid runs a gentle touch up and down his spine, tenderly working the tensions there down. He gives a hum, silent and sweet, urging silently for him to continue.

And he does.

MK loved him, MK wanted him to voice what was bothering him.

The boy had made it clear long, _long_ ago that he'd always want to hear what was on the demon's mind despite what he'd tell himself.

The demon was trying to work on being heathier as a whole, so, he tried his best to shove all the negative feelings down, the ones forcing him into silence.

"I don't- I'm not a good person, I'm bad. I'm-" He didn't know how to put it into words. He didn't know how to eloquently explain himself in a way MK could understand.

That init of itself frustrated him.

The demon lets out a frustrated growl.

MK appears to understand, as he always does.

MK knows him best, as he always will.

The demon curls up, closing his eyes as a hand rested itself upon his back.

Neither say a word for a moment. MK simply holds Red Son as he wants to be, as he _needs_ to be.

It's quiet, it's quaint. It's peaceful. A kind of peace both crave and need.

Red Son's safe. Both of them are safe.

The thoughts couldn't get him here, not with MK holding him, not with MK touching him.

"Can. .can we just stay in bed for today?" The demon then says, quietly, resisting the urge to flinch at the loud noises coming from outside, no doubt from the servants puttering about.

He always hated loud noises.

Funny, considering this was _Red Son._

Sure, he didn't think twice about them when he was younger, but ever since he became king and things calmed down, he couldn't _stand t_ hem.

MK appeared to share the same opinion.

The demon doesn't look up at his king, but he can hear the ache in his voice as he speaks.

"Today is just not that day?"

The demon nods his head.

"That's okay."

MK doesn't say much more, just shuffles until he's laying behind Red Son. He wraps his arms around his waist, pulling the fire demon close, spooning him.

Red Son always felt safest like this, like nothing could possible hurt him when he was held like this. Not even himself, not even his thoughts.

MK rests a head on Red Son's shoulder before nuzzling into the nape of his neck, hands moving to rest right on the demon's chest.

"I love you," he says softly. There's a tone in his voice, one that Red Son recognizes well.

He was feeling the same way Red Son himself was, he just hadn't said anything.

Typical MK, always believing he needed to be the hero, even when those days have passed him. Even when he doesn't need to be strong, he still put his feelings aside for others.

That damned hero complex.

Red Son wanted to rip it to shreds, then curse the world who gave it to him.

They could help each other through this, even if they both carried that heavy weight of their lives in their chest.

Even laying here, holding each other, helped tremendously.

Neither had the ability to speak. Neither could offer the other a verbal reassurance.

Though both felt guilt over that fact, _both_ mutually understood the other.

Red Son's eyes focused in on a part of the room, moving a hand up to cover over one of MK's.

He feels the requited words on his tongue, feels it burn and flicker there, but he stumbles.

"Do I deserve it?" He asks softly, closing his eyes.

MK presses a kiss to the back of Red Son's neck, then his bare shoulder. "You do, baby flame. You do," he murmurs softly, "I love you." He repeats.

Red Son hugs MK's hand closer, melting at the way it rested over his heart.

"I love you, too."

Red Son turns over then, opening his arms and allowing MK to cuddle into them, hiding his face into his chest. Their legs entangle, curling around one another. 

Things felt okay like this. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tysm for reading!!!! I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> Comments, kudos and criticisms are always appreciated!!!
> 
> I got some other schtuff in the works that hopefully i can get out soon,,,
> 
> Anywhooo, until next time!!! :]


End file.
